Body image

Not infidelity related but was just sitting here and could see my husband scrolling through instagram. Nothing alarming but noticed a lot of posts of women (he also follows a lot of health/wellness, diet stuff that we share) and it made me think/question…
I’ve been on a bit of a weight loss journey. He feels I don’t need to lose anything, loves how I look however I feel the need to be in better shape.
When I see these posts, it makes me wonder how seeing your husband look at these "perfect" bodies impacts our view of ourselves. I’m by no means big, but makes me wonder how he can "love" my love handles and see me one way but look at those seemingly perfect bodies and not wish that’s what he had…
Think infidelity makes me really question it maybe more! Or it’s simply a natural feeling but almost makes me feel more insecure about how I look :(

7 comments posted: Saturday, February 28th, 2026

Intrusive Thoughts

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted.

WS has done the work, we are in a great place…. But the past few nights I’ve been dreaming about his emotional affair and it’s left me feeling awful, in tears this morning. Nothing in our relationship has triggered it. We just had a great trip to Mexico and it was amazing. We have created a "new" relationship and I’ve never felt more secure in our marriage.

For some reason these dreams have brought up a lot of emotions. One thing in particular that has been weighing on me the past few days is reliving a text he sent to my former BFF saying "I love you" using her full name, "I love you."

Feel like my upset over this has just really hit me for some unknown reason almost 5 years later… he’s done the work, we’ve done the work… so why is this hitting me so hard now?!?!?

Not sure what I’m looking for but feeling frustrated that years later, this is resurfacing for no reason :(

Anyone else experience this? How did you manage it????

4 comments posted: Monday, May 27th, 2024

He finally gets it (maybe)…

I’ve come on these boards, posted, read responses then have taken a step back. If being honest, I sometimes feel like I come on and read everything, looking for magical answers…

It’s been a few months since I posted and life has been going well. I have really tried to focus on myself, mental and physical.

WH has been doing his work and this has improved our relationship, although I’m still not 💯 in for reconciliation. I know my worth, my value and am taking it 1 day at a time.

Most interesting thing that has happened, that yes actually shared, was a few nights ago, he dreamt that I was divorcing him. He never shared dreams but said each time he closed his eyes, it was the same dream, so he decided not to sleep because he couldn’t deal with the awfulness of it and remained awake most of the night.

My immediate thought was to sympathize with how awful those dreams can be, especially given my own sleepiness nights over his EA, but another part of me felt a bit happy… thinking he’s actually endured similar pain or maybe finally reached a point of reality based on what he created.

Anyone gave a similar situation occur?

2 comments posted: Monday, June 5th, 2023