Separated But Living Together. Husband Went On Vacation Without Telling Me & Left Me With Kids.

I discovered my husband cheating over a year ago, and I tried to give him several chances to repent, but he decided that he would prefer to continue to go on Tinder rather than fix our marriage. He threw it all away for cheap thrills. I have told him that I want a divorce, but he said that he's not going to file. So that is probably something that I will have to do, once I start making money (SAHM currently). I am just applying for jobs and trying to cohabitate until I can afford my own place.

While my husband obviously doesn't respect me or my opinion, I was shocked to find out that he booked a ticket to his home country without telling me. I only found out because of a notification on a tablet that he let the kids use. It was just for a week out, and he even asked me to give him a ride to the airport. What angers me is:

A. He booked it on credit, while also moaning and groaning about the bills (he wanted me to be a SAHM, btw)
B. He just assumed that I would watch the kids, cat and home (which I do anyway. But I hate that he just expects it).
C. He has been there for 3 days already, and he has not called or asked about our kids once.

Honestly, this is always how our marriage has been. He has gone on several vacations alone over the years, while I have to sacrifice and manage with the scraps. But it just angers me that he says that he loves the kids. If you love your kids, why would you just get up and go? Why wouldn't you call them? I feel like they are a plaything for him - to put back on the shelf when you're tired of them.

Anyway, I know that this will probably be my new reality: him doing whatever the heck he wants. While I have to continue to be present for the kids and make sure they are okay. And I am fine with that. I would literally do anything for my girls. But it just sucks that he does the bare minimum, and he is God in their eyes. Ugh.

At this point, the marriage is dead in my eyes. But I don't know if I should just try to file the divorce now and be a step ahead of him. Or should I wait until I can afford a lawyer, since he controls all of the money? Give me your thoughts, tips, anything!

0 comment posted: Tuesday, October 13th, 2026

Who Else Feels So Much Anger For Destroying Your Life?

I am a SAHM with two girls, ages 5 & 6. I have been married for almost 10 years, and while my husband has "dabbled" on dating sites over the years, he finally turned virtual into reality, by meeting with a woman and being intimate. And I hate him for it.

Yes, I probably should have left years ago, at the first sign. But I had a toddler and a newborn at the time, and with his major anger issues, I couldn't risk him having 1/2 custody of such young kids. So I mentally compartmentalized and raised our kids, cooked, cleaned, and helped him run his business - without pay.

I never rejected sex from him, except for when I could barely keep my eyes open. In fact, I rarely said "No" to him about anything. He was able to go wherever, whenever, while I kept the fort down. I stood by his side when he didn't have a penny to his name, and I even paid/helped him through the U.S. immigration process.

I even sacrificed my career and financial independence because he didn't want to be a stay-at-home-dad. Now, I cannot even leave or retain a lawyer, because I have absolutely no access to money. I have been looking for jobs that would work around their school schedule in the fall, but most jobs ask for references from prior employers, and I cannot even get that, because he forced me to quit my last job without notice.

I am just stuck in the home, caring for our kids alone. He goes to work and then spends all of his free time outside or on the phone with friends. He goes and spends money and shows his friends what a fabulous life he has, while I am at home cooking meals and trying to figure out how to make $30 last.

The kids can tell that something is up, and so they are acting up a lot. And because they don't feel emotionally safe with him, they save all of their tantrums for me. So that just adds another layer of stress.

I am just so angry at him. I feel like he used me and spit me out. And in the end, he just talks about how hurt HE is and how lonely HE is. I know that life isn't fair. I was never born with a gold spoon in my mouth. But to be betrayed by someone you vowed forever with - it just sucks.

10 comments posted: Sunday, June 7th, 2026

Why Are They So Selfish? He Ruined Marriage For Me

I have been with my husband 9 years, 2 kids - 5&6. The most recent discovery was about two months ago, and it happened several months before, when I was out of town. I had to dig and find the truth myself, because he wouldn’t tell me.

This is the 3rd time that I have found him using
Tinder throughout our marriage - but I was never able to find proof that he met up with anyone. He even downloaded a ton of apps when I was pregnant with our second child.

I am just so mad at him. Whatever he wanted, I did it. He wanted me to be a SAHM after our first child was born, I obliged. He wanted me to help him with his business (for free), I said "okay". He wanted me to be on birth control asap after giving birth
(because he didn’t want to use a condom), I signed up for an appointment right away. And now, he even wants me to get my tubes tied, because he doesn’t want to get a vasectomy.

Looking back at everything, I can see that I was always the one sacrificing. He justifies his cheating, saying that I didn’t give him time. And yet, I was the one cooking and cleaning and raising the kids, while he travelled all across the world - alone.

How can they be so selfish and yet think that they are not in the wrong? It is unfathomable.

27 comments posted: Saturday, March 21st, 2026